Parachute

kaddidlehopper wisdom from RK

You do not need a parachute to skydive.

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

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WHY!?

something new to do in 2011

Guess the dozer doesn’t care how high it is, but I want to know how the guy got down!
~this is from RK

Merry ChristMass!

This is a Christmas Tree from last December has attracted hits, pingbacks and criticism the past few weeks with a few brave enough to send their scathes privately. It’s still a Christmas Tree! It isn’t a Hanukkah bush, Holiday  Tree, Allah Plant, or whatever else you may think to call it, to avoid calling it what it is: It’s a Christmas Tree!

My friends, a curious assortment of religions (Buddhists, Hindu, Hawaiian, etc.), and non-religions (atheist, admit-to-nothing), with pollitical differences, celebrate Christmas as an American tradition. The faiths vary, the beliefs and disbeliefs sometimes profoundly different. Yet Americans choose to celebrate Christmas. It isn’t as old a tradition as practicing Christianity, as depicted in Capitol murals. We are all created equal and endowed by our Creator with unalienable rights which include life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Americans pursue happiness in the festivities of Christmas. And find it in the Son, born of Jewish parents, the one who Wise Men still seek. And in the quiet calm of their religions.

Atheists, Buddhists, Hawaiians and Admit-To-Nothings spend whatever’s left over from taxes to wrap gifts, indulge in merriment, imbibe in egg nog, and deck their halls with holly while the Christmas tree gets adorned with o′jects created by sticky little hands.

I’m so tired of hearing, “Happy Holidays!” Which “holidays” are to be happy? “Holiday Season,” meaning Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and the New Year? (I’m older than Kwanzaa.) Or  New Year, Valentine’s Day, the White Sale, and 4th of July? What are December’s Holidays (Holy Days), besides Christmas and Hanukkah?

So I say to you not “Happy Holidays”, which is rather benign, but rather

Merry Hanukkah, Happy Christmas and Joyous New Year!

the History of Santa Claus

From Odin to Saint Nicholas, the history of Sinterklaas, Santa Claus, is interesting.

Read it here.

Santa’s Favourites

Happy Thanksgiving


-greetings from JYC

TSA Slogans

When at SLC airport on my way home from the mainland recently, I was surprised to feel that I was greeted with hands all over me. I didn’t realize that the people in the longer line were waiting to enter the “safe” full body scanner. Your face is captured before you’re viewed under your clothes. (Maybe they just like to document your face as well as your curves, as some have been shown on the internet.)

The question I have is: Who dissed the successful Israeli method of profiling passengers, which they advised US to do after 9-11?

Political Correctness is just discrimination against the most of US.  ~hepsy

-this one is just in time, from RK-

1. Grope discounts available.

2. Can’t see London, can’t see France, unless we see your underpants.

3. If we did our job any better, we’d have to buy you dinner first.

4. Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.

5. Don’t worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.

6. Throw a few back at the airport Chili’s and you won’t even notice.

7. Wanna fly? Drop your fly.

8. We’ve handled more balls than Barney Frank

9. We are now free to move about your pants

10. We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.

11. It’s not a grope. It’s a freedom pat.

12. When in doubt, we make you whip it out.

13. TSA: Touchin’, Squeezin’, Arrestin’

14. You were a virgin.

15. We handle more packages than the USPS

16. The TSA isn’t silly, they just want to inspect your willy

17. Stroke of the hand, law of the land

18. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem

19. Let your fingers do the Walking

20. Cough

21. Reach out and touch someone

22. Can you feel me now?

23. When we’re done with you, you’ll need a cigarette

Doctors Smith and Jones

thanks, ES!

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and
put up a sign reading: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.”
The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed
the sign to “Catatonics and High Colonics.” No go.

Next, they tried “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives.” Thumbs down again.

Then came “Minds and Behinds.” Still no good.

Another attempt resulted in “Lost Souls and Butt Holes.” Unacceptable again!

So they tried “Analysis and Anal Cysts.” Not a chance.

“Nuts and Butts?” No way.

“Freaks and Cheeks?” Still no go.

“Loons and Moons?” Forget it.

Almost at their wit’s end, the doctors finally came up with: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones,
Odds and Ends.”

Everyone loved it.

Maxine’s remedy

– from RK

If you don’t like the election results, Maxine has the solution…

 

 

Fun on the Farm

RK sent this one

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